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We designed our own military trousers (I tracked down the shiny, heavy black fabric, which used to be worn by British Rail porters, to an old factory in Manchester) and put a strap between the legs (binding one knee to the other) and a zipper that went straight down the crotch and wound its way up the arse: as you undid them, all your goolies fell out, calling to mind images of people doing stuff of the most obnoxious kind out in the streets

Today, it is very difficult to get your hands on an original

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In fact, according to the American Lung Association, the average unlit cigarette can contain up to 600 different substances